Clean Sweep
by RonHeartbreaker
Summary: What if the parapulsor power cell in Clean Slate had had a little more throw-weight?
1. Chapter 1

**Clean Sweep**

There've been lots of variations on this theme before, especially AeroTendo's "Clean Slate 2," but I'm trying my hand anyway. Why now? Why not! You write fan fiction with the plot bunnies you've got, not the plot bunnies you wish you had. This won't be long; the only reason it's not a one-shot is because I'm sleepy and need to go to bed now.

Kim Possible and ancillary characters ©Disney.

* * *

_What if the parapulsor power cell in Clean Slate had had a little more throw-weight? _

I.

"That's not a battery! It's a parapulsor power cell!" Dr. Lankford interjected.

"To-may-to, to-mah-to," responded Drakken, as he jammed the cylinder back into the Memory Recovery Machine. "Hah! Fixed it!"

"No you didn't!" shouted Lankford in horror as the MRM began to vibrate uncontrollably.

"What's going on?" cried Drakken, eyes wide, panicked by the violently shaking piece of equipment in his hands.

He looked over to see Lankford disappear out of the laboratory in a blur of labcoat and loafers. At that very moment Kim snatched the MRM from his hands and made as if to dash towards the door herself.

Without warning there was a flash of light and a powerful explosion. The room went dark.

When the smoke cleared, the twisted shards of metal that had been the MRM sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by a scattering of 3x5 index cards. Drakken, Shego, Kim, and Ron were splayed out on the floor, beginning to move about groggily. Debris from the ceiling had effectively sealed off the door as well as the breach which Shego had earlier made into the children's ward.

"Whoa," said Ron, sitting up. "What just happened?"

"Did something happen?" responded Drakken from the floor.

"Yes, _something_ definitely did happen," chimed in Kim.

Shego looked down at herself. "Why am I dressed like a mint-chocolate-chip harlequin?"

Ron looked at her. "What's a harlequin?"

"What's mint-chocolate-chip?" asked Kim.

Shego's brow furrowed. "I…I don't know…" She rubbed her head.

At this, Drakken looked down at himself and frowned at his own attire.

By this time they were all standing, regarding each other and the wreck of the laboratory.

"Should we call for help?" asked Kim.

They listened for a moment and could hear muffled voices and sirens from beyond the mangled metal shutters and blocked doorway.

"You're green!" said Ron suddenly, pointing at Shego in shock.

"Yeah, I don't feel very well at all," she replied, continuing to rub her temples.

"No, I mean, you're _green._" He found a shard of metal and brought it to her face as a mirror.

Catching sight of her complexion, Shego gasped and put her hand to her mouth.

Now they all took a second look at each other.

"And you're blue!" said Kim, looking at Drakken.

"I'm…what? Well, on the inside, maybe…" he replied, his voice betraying his confusion.

"No, I mean, you're _blue."_ Kim strode over to him and, on a sudden hunch, pulled off his right glove. Drakken blinked in silence at his pale-blue hand.

"Umm…," started Ron, "so, is anyone else, like, unable to remember how we got here, or where here is, or what we're doing, or…who we are?"

Four pairs of eyes swiveled around the room, taking in the physical damage and the peculiarities of the other occupants.

"Okay," said Shego, "I don't know who you are, or who I am, but I know _that_," and she pointing at Kim's hair, "comes from a bottle. I've _never_ seen hair that color."

Kim pulled a lock of her hair down so she could examine it, then looked angrily at the green woman. "How would you know? And, may I remind you, your skin is _green?_ Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!"

"Or red," offered Ron helpfully.

Kim and Shego just looked at him.

Drakken cleared his throat. "It appears there was an explosion," he said, pointing about.

"No duh!" Shego and Kim said simultaneously. Suddenly Kim found herself saying, "Jinx! You owe me a soda!"

"What?" Shego demanded, jeeringly. "What are we, in high school?" Then she paused, and scrutinized the red-head and the blond. "Hmmm. Maybe."

"What is going on?" asked Drakken, exasperated. "Where are we?"

"That's not the question," replied Ron, carefully. "What I want to know is, _who _are we?"

There was a pause as they all warily eyed each other again.

Kim was the first to interrupt the silence. "Explosions, costumes, unusual…erm…skin coloration…I think I've got it."

She smiled at Shego and Drakken. "You must be superheroes!"

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to BlueEyedBrigadier, CajunBear73, Comet Moon, Dave 32, JCS1966, Katsumara, King in Yellow, Mack53B, screaming phoenix, Sentinel103, Shrike176, and Worker72 for the reviews. I really appreciate your taking the time.

This story, by the way, is resolutely resisting my every effort to keep it on track. And I'm not sure I like where it's going. So I'm posting this bit and will see where my muse takes me tomorrow.

Onward and downward…

II.

"What?!" said Shego and Drakken in disbelief, staring at the redhead.

"Superheroes! You know, battling villainy to help the little guy and ensure justice!"

Kim felt very sure of herself. No doubt the world – even if she couldn't remember much of it – needed heroes; and with the outfits and the crazy skin, how could these two be anything else?

"I don't know…" began Shego, then trailed off. The idea of being a superhero did seem to strike a chord, somewhere. But, really – superheroes? "I don't think having green skin and a costume makes you a superhero. Maybe I'm a performance artist?"

She rubbed her cheek with her fingertips and then examined them, in the hopes that perhaps it was all just makeup. _No dice._

"Besides," she continued, with growing confidence, "if we're superheroes, shouldn't we have superpowers? You know, tremendous strength, or the ability to read your minds…."

Suddenly the blond kid blushed a deep red and looked away.

Now Shego was annoyed and turned back to the girl. "Yeah, what do you think, Red, I just wave my arms," and she swept them wide, "and suddenly shoot energy beams out of my – erp."

Black-and-green plasma was playing eerily over both her hands.

The blond and the blue guy had stepped back in a panic. The redhead just smiled, her eyes shining with enthusiasm.

Shego turned her hands around in astonishment and examined them front and back. Then she looked back up at the others. The blond was gaping, the redhead grinning, and the blue guy - her putative partner in heroism – was just watching her intently.

Shego spent a few moments experimenting with the plasma while the others observed, but she quickly grew tired of all the gawking. "Ok, folks, show's over. How do you think I turn these babies off?"

Mr. Blue spoke up. "They seemed to light when you tensed them suddenly. Try relaxing. Put them down by your side or something."

Shego shrugged and did as he suggested. To her great surprise, they went out. _Score one for the blue guy._

Speaking of which – Blue was now waving his arms vigorously, clearly in the hopes of activating some kind of power of his own. When he'd exhausted the plausible arm motions, he moved on to his legs, and then started jerking his head around, as if hoping to emit beams from his eyes.

Shego decided she had better intervene before the guy started shimmying and shaking other parts of his body.

"Hey, Blue. Chill out. We don't need to see any more of your moves. 'Kay? 'Kay."

Drakken frowned. "But how do we figure out _my_ superpower?"

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to CajunBear73, Comet Moon, JAKT, JCS1966, Katsumara, King in Yellow, MrDrP, screaming phoenix, Sentinel103, Shrike176, and Worker72 for the reviews. I apologize in advance to all of you for the incoherence of this tale, but don't blame me - it's the characters' fault! Especially Shego, who will _not_ cooperate. But I'm having fun posting these little bite-size chunks of story development, and so I hope you're having fun reading them!

III.

Shego looked the blue guy up and down. Lab coat, scar, pony tail. Perpetually overmatched expression. Memory loss or no, she knew he wasn't hero material.

"Frankly, blue boy, I'm guessing you don't have a superpower. Maybe you're my sidekick. Or techie. Like how you figured out how to turn off my mitts. That must be it – look, you're even wearing some kind of lab coat. You've gotta be the gearhead. Probably you got the scar from some equipment failure. Check your pockets - any acid-shooting pens?"

Drakken's face darkened to an unattractive shade of purple.

"Sidekick? Gearhead?" he snorted. "Don't be absurd, young lady. With a scientific mind capable of such insights as the one I just came up with?"

"Yeah, ok, so let's see your superpowers, genius!"

Drakken looked sour but said nothing.

"Well then, Professor Poser, round one goes to me," said Shego.

"You don't _talk_ like a superhero ought to," piped up Ron.

Shego glared at him. "Like you'd know, blondie?"

He looked away again, abashed.

Shego decided to press the point and moved towards the boy, who slowly backed away. "Maybe I'm some kind of tortured anti-hero, eh? Seen too much, lived on both sides of the law, carrying a dark secret?" The blond had retreated all the way to the damaged metal shutters and could go no further. Shego leaned in and, speaking barely above a whisper, said, "Dishing out my own brand of vigilante justice? Who's to say?"

She waved her right arm and her hand lit up. _Superpowers. They're fun!_

Ron's eyes widened.

"Stop that!" came a voice from behind Shego.

Shego turned around. The redhead was standing there with an angry look in her eyes.

"I beg your pardon?"

"What kind of superhero picks on a high schooler?"

Shego paused. "Uh, I dunno. One with a dark secret who dishes out her own brand of vigilante justice?"

Kim continued to glare at her.

"What do you know about it, anyway, Red? We're the superhero team here" -- pointing to herself and Drakken – "and you and your buddy are clearly just a couple of bystanders whom we saved from some terrible fate."

"He's not my boyfriend!" responded Kim, then clapped her hand over her mouth.

Shego raised one eyebrow. "Whoa, there…never said he was, sweetheart."

"Oooh! How awkward!" said Drakken, forgetting his own humiliation long enough to relish the back-and-forth between the two women.

"Now where was I?" said Shego, as if to herself. "Oh yes, explaining to this good citizen of… wherever we are… that his guardian angel has a dark side."

She made to turn back to Ron, when the redhead spoke again.

"Oh, you…just…you think you're all that! But you're _not!"_

Kim reached out and grabbed Shego's shoulder.

"Hey hey hey!" said Shego. "No touching the hero!"

She turned back around quickly and reached for the girl's hand. "That's it - no autographs for y-"

Her sentence cut off suddenly when she grabbed thin air. The redhead had done a sudden backflip and taken up a ready stance, knife hands held out in front, steely determination written on her face. Then, realizing what she had just done, Kim looked down at her hands uncertainly and a look of shock came over her.

Shego's look of shock mirrored Kim's for a moment, then settled into something more appraising as she took a second look at the high schooler.

Ron settled back into his default gape.

Drakken looked at all three of them, then moved closer to Shego – as if for protection - and whispered, "I…don't think she's a bystander…"

Now it was Shego's eyes' turn to widen. "You're the villain! YOU'RE THE VILLAIN!"

Kim looked stunned for an instant, but then straightened up and smiled boldly at Shego. "And so what if I am?"

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Posting yet again! This is the fifth night in a row that I'm putting something up, which is so utterly beyond unheard of, for me, that I'm kind of worried about the universe's being so out of whack. But tonight I'm definitely going to sleep on time, which means you just get this mini-chapter. (And that's a low blow, KiY, judging my hackwork against your gold standard! You want 1000 words/night, you're going to have to write 'em yourself!)

All that said, thanks to BlueEyedBrigadier, CajunBear73, Comet Moon, JCS1966, Katsumara, King in Yellow, Mack53B, MrDrP, PoisonousAngel, Reader101w, screaming phoenix, Shrike176, and Worker72 for keeping up with this ridiculous little ride. Keep suspending the disbelief!

IV.

Drakken was overcome by an inexplicable feeling of disappointment. Suddenly he realized the source of the emotion.

"'_And so what if I am_?'" he asked, incredulously. "What kind of villainous retort is _that_?"

"What?" The redhead dropped her hands and stared at him in confusion.

The green-skinned woman also stood down and fired a look in his direction. "Yeah, I'll second that. What are you going on about?"

The blond kid cleared his throat and rubbed his right foot against his left calf. "Well, as long as those two are confused, I suppose you might as well break it down for them."

"Well, I…" Drakken thought for a moment. "It just seemed pretty weak. You know, for a villain. You need something less _tween, _with more bite. More threatening potential. Like…like…" He scratched his head in thought.

"Ooh! Ooh! I've got one!" shouted Ron, jumping up and down excitedly and waving his hand in the air.

Shego squinted at him in disgust. "We're not in class, chief. You don't have to _raise your hand._"

Ron looked at his elevated hand and slowly lowered it. "I was just going to say that she," and he pointed at Kim, "should've said something like '_And I am your DOOM!_'"

He waved his arms around in what was clearly intended to be a threatening manner.

Drakken frowned slightly, and gave a half-nod, half-shrug, looking to the two women for affirmation.

They provided none.

Ron, somewhat disappointed at the blue man's lukewarm reaction, also looked at the women, only to see both of them standing with arms crossed, looking back at him quizzically.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"Well, I was just wondering…" began Kim.

"…who in blazes are you supposed to be?" finished Shego.

Drakken stroked his chin as his beady eyes bore into Ron.

A wave of panic washed over Ron and he stepped back reflexively, causing a pile of rubble to collapse with a loud crash and a bang. He grimaced, stopped short, and looked at the mess behind him

With perfect simultaneity, Drakken, Shego, and Kim all struck their foreheads with their palms and shouted in unison, "The goofy sidekick!"

Ron crossed his arms and put on a sulky expression.

Drakken scratched his head, looked around suspiciously, and mumbled to himself, "But _whose_ goofy sidekick?"

Before he could pursue the thought further, Shego turned to Kim again. "All right then. Back to you, sweetheart."

"Now what?" asked Kim exasperatedly.

Drakken decided to jump into the conversation. "We want to know what your nefarious plot is, uh, uh, Scarlet Terror!"

"What?" said Kim.

"What?" said Shego.

"Who?" said Ron.

"_Scarlet Terror_?" said Kim in disbelief. "Are you for real?"

Drakken threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know, it seemed right when it was still in my head!"

"I'm with carrot-top on this one," said Shego. She ignored the dirty look Kim shot her, then paused to regard Drakken. "Got a fancy superhero name for _me_, too?"

Drakken looked away.

"C'mon! Out with it!" said the green-skinned woman.

"Ummm…" he began, and, tugging at his collar, said in a small voice, "the _Emerald Avenger_?"

Ron smiled and gave Drakken a big thumbs-up. When Shego turned to glare at the blond, he quickly made as if he were merely lifting his hand to rub his eyebrow.

"And that would make you…?" Shego asked Drakken.

The blue man looked lost. "I don't know…"

"The Blue Genius?" offered Ron helpfully.

"The Cyan Scientist?" asked Kim.

"The Blue Bozo?" pitched in Shego.

"Alright, enough!" shouted Drakken. "This is getting us nowhere!"

"Got that right," said Shego.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Still going! Though many of you are, no doubt, asking yourselves why. Rest assured I cannot and will not go on forever.

Thanks to CajunBear73, JCS1966, Katsumara, King in Yellow, MrDrP, mrjet, Reader101w, screaming phoenix, Shrike176, whitem, and Worker72 for still bothering. And I appreciate the suggestions many of you have made in the reviews - you'll see a couple of stolen ideas in here. You know who you are.

* * *

V.

"What I was_ going _to say,"Drakken continued, with a pointed glare at Shego, "is that we are no closer to recovering our identities and figuring out what we're doing here. And bickering isn't going to get us any closer to an answer."

Shego looked pouty, but Kim nodded approvingly. "Yes. The tech guy," causing Drakken to frown dramatically, "is right. Once we figure out what's going on we can resume – well, our hero/villain relationship. But for now we need to help each other."

Shego looked skeptical. "I don't see it. Why don't I just turn you over to the cops?"

"Because, uh, uh…" Kim broke off. "What _am_ I supposed to call you?"

"Ugh. Just call me Green, ok? 'Cuz I'm calling you Red, like it or not."

"Ooh! How about 'Red Menace'?" said Drakken enthusiastically.

Kim and Shego both shot him "can it!" looks, and he retreated.

"Okay, Green, I'll tell you why," resumed Kim. "Because no doubt it was my evil invention that caused us all to lose our memories! What if the only clues are in this lab? You lock me up and let the cops root around in here, you'll lose your only chance at finding out who you are! Mwahahahahahahah!"

They stared at her.

"Too much?" she asked, blushing.

"She has a point," Ron said.

"Did I _ask_ your opinion…uh, Wonderboy?" asked Shego.

Ron scowled at her.

Drakken cleared his throat.

"Now what?" said Kim.

"May I point out that something is very, very wrong here?"

"You just figured that out?"

Drakken looked exasperated. "Whose sidekick _is _he?"

The other three just looked confused.

"I may not remember my name, but my gut tells me this: villains don't have goofy sidekicks. Villainous sidekicks are more…menancing. Wonderboy here couldn't menace a bowl of cold noodles."

Ron's stomach suddenly growled forcefully. "I think I beg to differ," he said mildly.

"You know what I mean!" shouted Drakken. "You _must_ be the hero's sidekick."

Ron, Kim, and Drakken all looked at Shego.

"Oh, no. No no no no no," replied Shego. "He is _not_ my sidekick."

"Why not?" said Kim. "He's already generated lots of distractions. Isn't that what hero sidekicks do?" Thinking through the implications, she looked Drakken up and down. "Does that mean you're _my_ tech guy?"

Drakken merely snorted, though he did walk over to stand next to Kim. He then used his fingers to "frame" Shego and Ron, as if he were taking a picture. "Yes, I do think it could work. Can you… I don't know, lean back-to-back against each other with your arms crossed, or hold your fists together in some gesture of cosmic power?"

"I don't think so," growled Shego dangerously. "Besides, just look at us! He's clearly part of a matched set with Red over there."

"Really?" Drakken said. "Does this guy really look like he belongs with _that _girl?"

"Hey! Was that a shot?" Ron asked angrily. "That was definitely a shot!"

"I don't care," said Shego. "All I know is, he's _not_ with me. Noooo way."

They all looked at each other for a moment.

"Maybe," Ron began slowly, "y_ou_ two," and he indicated Shego and Kim, "are the crime-fighting team, and _we,_" indicating Drakken and himself, "are the villains."

Drakken considered that for a moment.

"Well..._Great Blue_¸" mocked Shego,"… you do seem to know a fair amount about villain behavior."

Despite evident distaste, she drew slightly closer to Kim

"Well," Drakken responded, "he still couldn't be my sidekick. Same reason. And I am certainly not _his_ sidekick."

"Um, excuse me," interjected Ron.

"Now what?" snapped Shego.

"I found something."

Now all eyes were on Ron. He held up a few index cards which he had picked up during the quibbling.

"Listen to this," he said, and began reading. "Bowl with the henchmen… remember foolproof plan… break into lab… use it…buy ingredients for peanut butter stickies…soon world domination will be in my grasp once I use the MRM to help me remember my plan… oh snap!"

"What's wrong?" Kim asked.

"What?" Ron said, surprised. "Oh, um, no, it's written here on the card: 'oh snap'."

Shego sighed heavily. "Alright, already, Wonderboy, what's your point?"

"Don't you get it? The _real_ bad guy must have written these. All we have to do is match the handwriting and we'll know exactly who the villain is. Then all the other pieces will fall into place!"

There was a pause as they contemplated Ron's proposal.

_Dum dum de-dum_

The four looked around in surprise.

_Dum dum de-dum_

"You're…beeping," Shego said to Kim, eyeing her warily.

Kim felt around in her pockets and pulled out the Kimmunicator. Wade's face immediately flashed onto the screen.

"Thank gosh! Dr. Lankford just reported what happened. Are you alright?"

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the break, dear readers, but Ms. Heartbreaker returned early from her travels and I was...distracted. But rest assured that we're really getting close to the end of this carousel of whack, to use CajunBear's perfect phrase.

Thanks to BlueEyedBrigadier, CajunBear73, Comet Moon, Danny-171984, JCS1966, Katsumara, King in Yellow, Kraven the Hunter, Mack53B, MrDrP, Reader101w, screaming phoenix, Shego2009, Shrike176, whitem, and Worker72.

VI.

Kim regarded the young computer genius with confusion for a moment, then her face lit up.

"_You_ must be my tech guy!" She looked quizzically at Drakken, then shrugged and turned back to the Kimmunicator. Noting the computers and other electronic equipment which surrounded Wade, she asked, "is that our lair?"

"What?" responded Wade, cocking his head and eyeing her from the Kimmunicator's viewscreen. "Our... lair?"

"Yeah, you know, where we plot our evildoing," Kim said. "I can't remember _anything_ – are we in the take-over-the-world business, or are we just a garden-variety criminal enterprise? I really hope it's the former – I just _feel_ like I must be some kind of achiever."

Suddenly something dawned on her. "Oh! Oh! You must know my name! What is it? I hope it's not something totally cheesy like Scarlet Fever or Red Terror or, or-"

"Fireball?" offered Drakken timidly.

"You just _can't_ give it up, can you?" Kim said dismissively.

The supergenius wheels had been turning in Wade's head. "Dr. Lankford warned me that something like this might have happened. You really can't remember who you are?"

Kim shook her head.

"Well, the good news is that he said it's only temporary. But…why do you think you're a villain?"

Kim thought about it. "Are you saying I'm _not_ a villain? It just seemed logical, since _she's _clearly the superhero." She held the Kimmunicator out so Wade could see Shego.

Wade spat slurpster all over his keyboard.

"Kim - you're not a villain!" he said, shaking slurpster off his hands. "And _that_ is not a superhero!"

"I beg your pardon?" asked Shego – who by now, along with Drakken and Ron, had gathered around Kim to watch Wade. "And just who are _you_ supposed to be?"

"I'm Wade Load," he responded, proudly.

Kim snorted. "That _so_ doesn't sound like a name."

"Yeah, like you should talk," Wade responded.

"Meaning, please?" responded Kim, a little put out.

Wade spoke emphatically. "Your name is Kim Possible."

"KIM POSSIBLE?!" bellowed Drakken.

They all looked at him. "You remember her?" asked Shego.

Drakken stopped suddenly. "No, not as such, uh, no." He looked helplessly at the three of them and threw up his hands. "Don't ask me! It just popped out!"

Kim kept her eyes fixed on Wade. "And if I'm not a villain, then I'm...?"

"You're a teen hero," responded Wade emphatically.

Kim glanced around at the others in the room with her, looking for some reaction. Shego stared at her impassively, eyelids lowered. Drakken just shrugged. Ron gave her a thumbs up, then, catching Shego looking at him, pretended he was just fixing his hair.

Shego spoke up. "Teen hero? Kim _Possible_? C'mon, you've gotta be kidding me. What's her heroic catchphrase? _'Anything's Possible'_?

Wade looked uncomfortable. "Uh, actually…"

But Shego was rolling on. "Besides, what's her superpower?" She gave Kim another once-over. "Overabundant perkiness?"

"Ok, I'll bite," responded Kim. "What's my superpower?"

Wade looked even more uncomfortable at having this conversation with Shego and Drakken standing right there, but deemed it necessary to move ahead.

"I'm not sure you exactly have one. Basically, you use your mad cheerleading skills to fight bad guys and save the world."

Kim once again looked around the room at her companions – and spontaneously all four burst into laughter.

"No, really, Wade," said Kim, sheer force of will triumphing over the sudden attack of the giggles, "what's my power?"

"Well, you do know 16 kinds of kung fu."

The laughter died down.

"Now that's more like it!" said Kim, "and it certainly explains that backflip."

"We've got to get you home," Wade said. "Dr. Lankford thinks the memory recovery process can be accelerated with appropriate stimulation and memory joggers. I'll let your parents know that they should get out the picture albums and home movies."

"Well isn't that just sweet as sugar," sneered Shego. "Now, enough with the chit chat." She pointed to herself and Drakken. "Who are we?"

Wade sat up with a start and looked around in a panic for a second. "You two! Yes, of course, you, you're, uh, heroes too! He's the _Blue...Brain_, and you're the...the _Emerald Avenger_?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "What _is_ it with boys and their comic books? Sorry, nerdlinger, but next time you lie, you might want to work on the stammering and the shifty-eyes. Who are we, really?"

She glanced around, then grabbed Ron by the front of his shirt with one hand while lighting up with the other. The blond shrank back. "Out with it," Shego went on, "or I fry Wonderboy here."

Wade sighed heavily. "Your name is Shego. You used to be a hero, actually. But you turned evil and now you're a villainous henchman. Uh, henchperson."

Shego's reaction was mixed. "Ok, the villainy makes sense, I can feel that. But – I'm a henchperson? For whom?"

Wade's eyes silently moved past her until they came to rest on Drakken.

"Oh no," Shego whispered in horror. "No, no no no no."

To be Concluded...


	7. Chapter 7

The conclusion. Finally. I have labored like a mountain and given birth to a mouse. Regardless, let me offer another round of expressions of gratitude to reviewers BlazeStryker, BlueEyedBrigadier, CajunBear73, FirestarXSandstorm, JCS1966, Katsumara, King in Yellow, Mack53B, Masterperson, MrDrP, Reader101w, screaming phoenix, Shego2009, Shrike176, whitem, and Worker72. It makes my day to know that I've entertained you at least a little bit, and I've gotten a lot of good ideas from reviewers, so thanks for taking the time to write something!

If you enjoyed this, and like/don't object to KiGo, you should go read King in Yellow's _So The Trauma,_ another tale of lost memory.

VII.

"What's the big deal?" asked Ron. "He might be a great villain. Look at him! He's got a scar! And he's blue! What's not to like?"

Shego looked at Ron disbelievingly, and, waving her hand disparagingly in Drakken's direction, said, "Kid, he writes his villainous plots on_ index _cards. This is one of the seven habits of a highly successful supervillain?"

Drakken would have none of it.

"I knew I was no sidekick," he said, preening. "I am clearly an evil supergenius whose very name makes my foes tremble in terror!" He paused. "Erm, excuse me, hero's computer geek, but what _is _said terror-inspiring name?"

Not really seeing any way out, Wade responded, "well, your real name is Drew Theodore P. Lipsky. Though you call yourself Doctor Drakken."

Shego snorted in derision and Drakken's face quivered. "What? Drakken, yes, good, rather terrifying, that sounds right, but…Lipsky? What game are you playing? Are you trying to undermine my evil confidence while I still don't have my full memory back?"

Wade sighed. "Check your jacket. Your mother sewed name tags into all of your outfits."

Shego immediately grabbed Drakken's collar and turned it over. "_Drewbie Lipsky_?" she read off the small piece of fabric sewn there, and laughed cruelly.

"Alright!" shouted Drakken. "Fine! Doesn't matter. I'm an evil supergenius and you are my hireling! That's all we need to know!"

"Ahem," interjected Ron.

"Oh, hey, Ron," Wade said. "You're Ron Stoppable. Kim's sidekick and best friend. And, uh, lately…her boyfriend."

The foursome could hear, several rooms away, a member of the fire and rescue squad drop a pin.

Shego was the first to speak.

"You're kidding."

Ron followed this up with a "What?"

Kim just stood silently, looking at Wade, then at Ron.

"Oh, _please,_" said Drakken, rolling his eyes. "Goofy sidekick and hottie heroine _dating? _Could you _be _more cliché?" Directing his vision towards Wade on the Kimmunicator's screen, he said, "Let me guess…they revealed their love for each other just when things looked darkest, probably while being held captive by a.... Wait a minute – was I involved?" He looked around. "Am I being punked?"

"It's true!" protested Wade. He looked back at the teen couple.

Kim and Ron's eyes met. She smiled uncertainly; he shrugged, grinned nervously, and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand.

"Oh, and the search and rescue crew found Rufus in the children's ward."

"Who?" asked Ron.

"Your pet naked mole rat, who usually accompanies you on missions."

"O-o-kay," Ron responded.

The tentative smile left Kim's face and she looked from Ron to Wade and then back to Ron, squinting skeptically at the latter. He shrugged sheepishly.

Drakken was mumbling to himself. He picked up one of the scattered index cards and, finding a pen in the rubble, started writing as he spoke to himself. "Kim…Possible…Doc…tor…Drakken…" He paused.

"Sorry, what was his name again?" asked Drakken, pointing at Ron.

"Ron Stoppable," answered Wade.

"Sorry, what? Missed it," Drakken responded, a blue hand cupped to a blue ear.

"Ro-on Stop-pa-ble," Wade said, dragging out the name and exaggerating each syllable.

Drakken frowned. "No, it's just all pops and buzzes from here. One more time?"

"Actually," Wade said, giving up, "you usually just call him the buffoon."

Drakken's face lit up. "Aha!" exclaimed the blue scientist. "Now _that_ really rolls off the tongue!" He jotted it down on the card.

"Okay, this just got boring," Shego said. She pointed to the Kimmunicator. "I believe the kid; and if I have to spend any more time with these two pimply faced teens, I'm going to lose it. C'mon, Dr. D, let's go." She grabbed him by the collar and headed towards the window shutters.

"But where?" Drakken asked in a panic.

"You heard the geek. It's a temporary problem. We're going to find your lair, remember who we are, and then come back and kick teen hero biscuit. Then, I dunno, we knock over some banks, wreak some mayhem, take over the world. _Then,_ I'm taking a vacation."

She tore through one of the shutters. As she was dragging Drakken off, he turned back to the two heroes and shouted "Kim Possible! Assuming that you think _you're _all that, I'd just like to say – despite the lack of empirical evidence one way or the other – I'm quite sure you're _not! _And…you…boy…well, you haven't seen the last of Doctor Drakken!"

Kim and Ron walked over to the shutters and watched the two villains scramble away. Then they looked at each other.

"So...you're a kung fu cheerleading teen hero?" Ron said, miming kicks and punches.

"Hero-_ine_," Kim corrected him. "And you're my clumsy best friend and sidekick, who has a naked mole rat as a pet?"

"Guess so," replied Ron, with a shrug and a grin.

They regarded each other for another moment.

"And we're dating?" Kim said.

"Well, that's what Wade said."

"Think he's playing us?"

"I sure hope not," answered Ron.

They lapsed into silence again.

Just when the pause was getting uncomfortable, Ron's stomach growled. He blushed, and said, "I'm starvin' marvin. What say we find a way out of here an' try to remember what we like to eat?"

Kim raised an eyebrow, and Ron suddenly felt self-conscious. "Or we could, you know, try to regain other memories, if, you know, that's something you felt we should do." He shook off the self-consciousness and held out a crooked elbow. "Well, milady - shall we?"

Kim smiled at him. "You're weird," she said, "but...I think I like you."

Arm in arm, they headed out through the broken shutter.

_Fin_

* * *

Well, there it is. I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed this. I really intended it to be a short one-shot; if you actually look at the word count you'll see that the total length of this tale would barely make a single chapter for masters of the craft like King in Yellow or yvj. So I thank those of you who stuck with it despite the little bite-size updates.

In case there were any doubts about how this would end up, let none forget that I am, at heart, a K/R shipper. I did stick in a couple of moments of Kim-Shego commonality (when they both wonder about Ron, e.g.), for the subtext, of course.

A particular shout-out to Worker72 for pointing out that nobody could mistake Ron for a villain (and for flagging his clumsiness). I'd kind of neglected Ron in the first couple of chapters and with Worker72's comment I knew immediately that, while everybody else's identity might be in question, the goofy sidekick is unmistakeable. (After all, what he does defies description!)

I had a lot of fun writing this (one of my favorite parts of this whole piece was getting the various characters to use the _other_ characters' tag lines. Big laffs!) but started to get worried as it progressed - that, no matter what I did, I'd be letting down you readers. As anyone who's read my stuff knows, I really don't do much thinking/plotting in advance - an idea pops into my head, and I just take it from there. Hopefully things go well and the characters write the story themselves. Thus I was amazed and overwhelmed by the outpouring of speculation and ideas for twists and turns. I incorporated a few of them, but decided not to pursue the recurring suggestion that this be a longer tale in which all four are heroes, or all four are villains, or they truly do switch roles and go into action. Mostly this was because I'm just not up for that kind of writing adventure (heck, I can barely make progress on my "big" story, Diplomacy in Action), and partly because I just couldn't convince myself that circumstances could conspire long enough for their true identities to stay hidden. (KiY's reviews evinced the same instinct.) Some of you suggested that GJ might orchestrate something so as to keep Shego and Drakken working on the side of good. That's definitely an idea worth pursuing, but it'll have to fall to someone else. Really, though, it wasn't up to me. The subtitle of this story might as well be _"The Truth Will Out"_ - no matter how much I toyed with writing Shego as a hero or Kim as a villain, their essential natures shone through.

There was also the question of whether Ron's MMP would out. Or if Zorpox would make any appearance. Verrrrry tempting - especially the latter - but I decided against it, again, mostly because I didn't want to complicate what was essentially supposed to be a brief comic romp. If anyone wants to write of those variations, well, I'd be flattered.

As I mentioned in chapter 1, AeroTendo's _Clean Sweep 2 _is a well-executed variation on this episode. For folks who want to see Kim and Ron as villains, well, there are numerous alternatives for that; I commend to you in particular Reader101w's _Evil Amnesia,_ MrDrP's _Booyahahahahaha_!, and of course GWA's _The Darkness Within_.

My one regret about the story is that, as Shrike176 pointed out, it should have been Ron who jumped to the otherwise unsupportable conclusion about Shego's being a hero. I may edit the story to incorporate that twist. (Also, natch, it should have been Kim who figured out what Ron's plan was vis-a-vis the handwriting analysis - and then Ron would have said, "My plan? Ah, yes, of course, my plan!")

And on to the next tale!


End file.
